DEAR MOM
Melody--Itself

Dear Mom, your son is dead, he bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on the Ho Chi Minh highway.
He made a rocket pass, and then he busted his ass,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

He flew across the fence to see what he could see,
And there it was, as plain as it could be.
There was a truck on the road, with a big heavy load.
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

He got right on the horn, and gave the DASC a call,
"Send me air, I ve got a truck that s stalled."
The DASC said, "That s all right, I ll send the Stinger Flight,
For I AM THE POWER!"

Those Hornets checked right in, gunfighters two by two,
Low on gas and tanker overdue.
They asked the FAC to mark, just where the truck was parked,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

That Bronco rolled right in , with his smoke to mark,
EXACTLY where that truck was parked.
But now the rest is in doubt, cause he never pulled out,
Hmm, hmm, hmmmmm.

(With reverence): Dear Mom, your son is dead, he bought the farm today,
He crashed his OV-10 on the Ho Chi Minh Highway.
He made a rocket pass, then he busted his ass,
Hmm, hmm,
FUCK HIM!

(Sung to "Camptown Races"): Motherfucker s dead, motherfucker s dead,
Son s comin home in a body bag,
Oh, doo dah day!

(Spoken): How did he go? STRAIGHT IN!
What was he doing? THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-ONE!
Hell of a deal. WHOOEE!

Cocksucker, motherfucker, eat a bag of shit,
Cunt hair, douche bag, bite your mother s tit.
We re the best fighter squadron, all the others suck.
Bronco FAC, Bronco FAC, rah, rah, FUCK!

Note: "FAC" = forward air controller; "DASC" = direct air support
coordinator; "Stinger Flight," "Hornets" = aircraft and crews of the 43rd Tactical Fighter Squadron.

Contributed the Ed Cray's unpublished Erotic Muse. 3rd ed. by Paul "Flying Booger" Woodford

https://archive.org/details/ed-cray-collection-aka-erotic-muses-iii/page/352/mode/2up?q=dear+mom

Lacks the "singing telegram" introduction by has the camptown races addition.