There was a space of a little bit when Trump seemed lampoonable.
This lyric spilled out of my awareness of how self-assured bin Laden was about the righteousness of his atrocities. I'm ultimately disappointed with the lack of depth of Trump's comeuppances; but the song is what it is and was written when it was.
Mostly for your amusement; if anyone wants to perform this sucker, look me up and I'll get it online or sing you some over the phone or something.
Yeah---the scansion is "relaxed" ---to be delivered conversationally.


WHEN ADOLPH HITLER WENT TO HEAVEN


When Adolph Hitler went to heaven
He got a big surprise
There was this short dark guy leanin' on the desk
Givin' him the evil eye

“Gott im Himmel!” said der Führer
“Was ist das shwartz face?”
Jesus grinned and said, “You've sinned
And I'm in charge of your case

“Might'a' been Anubis or Vishnu
Or a voice from a clapboard steeple
But I raised my hand 'cause of my old man
You know the Jews were his chosen people

“And when I preach it's usually
A more forgiving kind of a tale
But we all agreed your awful deeds
Was way beyond the pale




“So first you can walk in the furnace
It'll take a century all told
We'll see you feel each and every
Molecule explode

“And the absolute zero inside of you
That void and empty hole
We'll fill it with gold teeth and ashes
You can use it for a soul

“Then we'll give you a rag and sandals
And a wasteland you can roam
Where you can play the shofar
Till the angels all fly home”

Chorus:
        Here comes God in his compassion
        Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin'
        Down the line in some fine fashion
        You gonna get what you got comin'

When Osama bin Laden got to Heaven
Pride was shining from his eyes
“Was I not your most exemplary son
God all-powerful and wise?”

Allah gave a great big eye roll
He said, “I know you thought it out
But you got it WRONG you uncompromising
Neolithic lout!

“You missed the part about compassion
It's somewhere in the book
I forget what page
Why don't you sit down here and look

“For all the lifetimes you destroyed
We'll round it down and say three grand
At a nominal threescore and ten
That was allotted to a man

“That's 210,000 years
Every night and day
You'll study your Quran,
And at every verse you'll pray

“At the end there'll be an oral exam
It goes on till I say 'when'
If at the end you still seem filled with hatred
You can do it all again



'The next time through you'll translate to English
And put it all in rhyme
I will proctor you personally
You know I've got the time

“And if I should get bored
And need a little chuckle
I will borrow Sister Lawler's ruler
And rap you on the knuckles

“And if at last you're humbled
I will set you free
You can have a taste of Paradise
And if you want 'em, a virgin or three”


Chorus:
        Here comes God in his compassion
        Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin'
        Down the line in some fine fashion
        You will get what you got comin'







When Donald J. Trump gets to Heaven
He'll think his ears need washin'
“Privyet, tovarish!” says St. Peter
….....................“Hey, Don, only joshin'!

“Why don't you pull your jacket off
'Cos it might get pretty warm
Take a load off your feet, have a seat
And hand me up that form”

St. Peter takes the clipboard
And it really pops his eyes
“Hey, you filled your application in
With verifiable lies

“A bicameral committee
Will decide if you go to hell
They're all out somewhere golfing
But you can park at your hotel

“Got a kinda greasy wall-to-wall
And to minimize the clutter
You get exactly one solid gold golf ball
And one solid gold putter

“You can aim at a solid gold Dixie cup
From Reagan's old Rolls Royce
But it's also the cup you'll piss in
So you'll have to make a choice

“There's a black-and-white TV
That allows no shades of gray
With nothing but Rachel Maddow
23 hours a day


“She'll interview Bernie and Hillary and Elizabeth
Warren while you view
And they'll talk and talk and never
Say a single word about you

“From 3 to 4 in the morning
If you need to rest your eyes
There's Hannity and Friends
But all they do is apologize

“Room service is iffy
What else would it be?
It's all students working their way through
Trump University




“And you can eat Donald Trump Steaks
Served up bloody rare
And drink Donnie Johnnie Trumpie Wumpie
Warm flat beer

“Your suite is not in Moscow
But it will suit you well
It's the only room in Trump Tower
White Collar Hell”

Chorus:
        Here comes God in his compassion
        Ain't Cat Stevens that he's hummin'
        Down the line in some fine fashion
        You will get what you got comin'

Dennis D'Asaro