Now, I'll admit that Lou and Peter Barrymen have the ultimate generic state song "Your State's Name Here" but I bet there are a lot of unofficial state name songs that are floating around. In Michigan I collaborated on one inspired by a road trip to the Thumb of Michigan, beginning with our passage through the little town of Shaftsburg. Several groups have recorded various versions and I'm convinced that like the weed it is, the state will never erradicate it. I would like to encourage others to post their own state songs here. And I'll begin with:

SHAFTED IN SHAFTSBURG
(By Charlie Ipcar & Maxine Parshall ©1975)

I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Been lynched in Lynchburg town;
I've been sharpened in Flint,
And Highland's got me down;
I'm all washed up in Bath,
Impaled in Lansing too;
Yes, I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Come on and get shafted too!
Yes, I've been shafted in Shaftsburg,
Come on and get shafted too!

I got fed up in Eaton Rapids,
In Custer I made my stand;
I got crocked in Potterville,
In Mason I was canned;
Reformed in Westphalia,
Benton Harbor straightened me out,
But the shafting I got in Shaftsburg
'Twas dreadful there can be no doubt!
But the shafting I got in Shaftsburg
'Twas dreadful there can be no doubt!

I lost my bearings in Wheeler,
Hamburg ground me down;
I was given the bird in Pigeon
And Fowlerville's a chickenshit town;
I got riled up in South Riley,
Ran amok in Menominee, Menominee, Menominee,
But when you come to Shaftsburg,
You'll be shafted I guarantee!
But when you come to Shaftsburg,
You'll be shafted I guarantee!

I got mixed up in Cement City,
Muskegon raised a stink;
You can't get high in Lowell,
Hart's got no soul I think;
I've been glum in Lum,
Taken for a ride in Cadillac;
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're never coming back!
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're never coming back!

I lost my head in Bad Ax,
And Hell it wasn't so hot;
I got fXXXed over in Climax,
And Hillsdale left me flat;
I've been socked in Argyle,
Swamped in Grand Marais,
But when you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're gonna stay that way!
But when you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know you're gonna stay that way!
I put up my dukes in Ellington,
Got locked in the Kalamazoo;
I got the trots in Flushing
And see-sawed at the Sault;
I got stoned in Petoskey,
Balmed in East Gilead;
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as bad!
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as bad!

I was polished off in Brighton,
In Lyons I lost my pride;
I was fleeced in Shepard,
In Frankenmuth I got fried;
I was blown away in Galesburg,
And Howeled all the way home;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time to roam!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time to roam!

I was cast out of Eden,
In Paradise I was lost;
I was damned in Holland,
In Thunder Bay, tempest tossed;
Tehquamenon was my downfall
But, Eureka, I saw the light;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time for flight!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You know it's time for flight!

I got plastered in Paris,
In Rosebush I got ripped;
I got tanked in Sherman,
In Beacon I was lit;
Fell off the wagon in Temperance,
In Brunswick I got stewed;
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as crude!
When you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
Nothing else is quite as crude!

I drifted through Grand Rapids,
At Big Rock I was sunk;
Coldwater was a chilling experience,
Hemlock had a lot of punch;
Saginaw was a big letdown,
And Paw Paw's a fruity place,
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You've known real disgrace!
But once you're shafted in Shaftsburg,
You've known real disgrace!

This is the official fully Monty version of the song! ^^