THESE ARE THE REASONS WE LOVE GETTING OLD
(Phil Heath)

Long hairs in nostrils, and wrinkles on forehead
Losing your glasses and early to bed
Poor circulation that makes you feel cold
These are the reasons I love getting old

Youths call you grandma and not in a nice way
Luckily you can’t hear what they say
Care homes are pricey so your house is sold
These are the reasons I love getting old

Pensions are lousy and sex is a no-no
Everyone thinking that you’ve lost your mojo
Experts say drinks must be strictly controlled
These are the reasons I love getting old

Bus pass, free TV, the future is rosy
Previous help with the heating made us feel cosy
Perks have been cancelled or just put on hold
These are the reasons I love getting old

We’re living so long our health care’s spread thinner
Never mind dear, here’s your pills and a zimmer
Be uncomplaining and do as your told
These are the reasons I love getting old

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak
When I’m feeling mad
I simply remember the great life I’ve had
Then I don’t feel so bad!