A woman had had some blood tests at her local doctors' surgery. She was unable to collect the results herself so she asked her husband to call in and pick them up for her.

When he told the receptionist his wife's name, the receptionist hesitated and said "Er, just wait a minute, sir, while I call the doctor to see you..."

So the doc came in and said to the bloke, "I'm really sorry Mr Smith, but when your wife came in there was another Mrs Smith in at the same time giving samples, and we've got their results mixed up..."

"Well can't you just do the tests again?"

"Well, the tests are very expensive and your medical insurance wouldn't finance a repeat..."

"Well why not just give me the results of both women and maybe we can work it out.."

"Hmmm, Well OK, but I need to tell you that one woman's tests showed that she has dementia and the other showed gonorrhoea..."

"Blimey doc, so what would you advise?"

"Well, if it were my wife, I'd drop her off in town for a shopping trip. If she made it home I wouldn't have sex with her..."