In the same vein - one from Steve :-)

A chap is chatting to his butcher when a large dog comes into the shop with a bag round its neck.

"Good morning Fido," sez the butcher. "And how many steaks is it today?"

"Woof woof!"

So the butcher puts two steaks into the dog's bag.

"And how many pork chops?"

"Woof woof woof woof!"

So into the bag go four chops.

"And how many pounds of mince?"

"Woof woof woof!"

In go the three pounds of mince. The butcher takes a twenty pound note out of the side pocket of the bag and puts some small change back in. Off trots the dog on its way home. The chap is so impressed that he decides to follow the dog home to see what happens next.

When the dog arrives at its house, it barks like mad and scratches at the front door. A woman opens the door and in goes the dog. The chap sez to her, "Excuse me, but I just have to say that you have a remarkably clever dog there..."

"Huh, he's not as clever as you think," sez she. "That's the third time this week that he's forgotten his key..."