...added a penultimate verse to drive the message home.

The Porch Pirate Song
(tune: Rosin the Bow/Acres of Clams)

I don't fly the old Jolly Roger
I don’t sail the blue bounding sea
I’m cruising the streets of your suburb
And living off porch piracy
CHORUS: (last two lines)
        I’m living off porch piracy, my friends
        I’m living off porch piracy
        I’m cruising the streets of your suburb
        And living off porch piracy

I look for a house that is empty
And snatch up whatever they’ve got
I sell it for cents on the dollar
For such is the porch pirate's lot
CHORUS

I once had a job in a bookstore
I was solvent and young and carefree
But Amazon stole all their business
And they had to let go of me
CHORUS

I worked an Amazon warehouse
A nightmare in every way
They make you a slave to their robots
And offer you pittance for pay
CHORUS

Picking and packing like madmen
You can’t stop to pee or to eat
And if you dare mention a union
They’ll throw you right out on the street
CHORUS

So now I'm an outlaw and pirate
for taking the things that you've bought
but robbing small business and workers,
the billionaires never get caught
CHORUS

I’m not asking you for your pity
Of course I know stealing is wrong
But save some of your scorn for Jeff Bezos
And join in my porch pirate song
CHORUS


Russell Aminzade Creative Commons License CC BY-SA (OK to sing, copy, share, and modify with attribution)