flattop - Kudo's to you. Lighten up and have fun.

Troll - I disagree...my significant other does not always care to come to the shows, but I'm always thrilled when she does. If I owned my own business, I would be glad to have her nearby when I worked...if I go on an extended business trip I would be glad to have her with me. Comparing playing in a bar to a business meeting is just downright silly. Maybe she would not be welcome in a meeting, but neither would any of the other folks in the bar or anyone with a beer or a cigarette.

Micheal - I agree with King Brilliant, she is probably upset because she feels excluded. Let her come if she wants.
"I have already decided that my friendship with the other two members of the trio will suffer if I continue to play with them."

If you think you can't be friends with people who don't play as well as you, then shame on you. Your friend is doing this as a favor for one of his friends and I assume he thought he could count on you to do a favor for him.

If Eric Clapton and I ever played together, the resulting music would sound better than anything I have ever done, and worse than anything Eric Clapton had ever done, and nobody would think "Gee, that Eric really messed that one up "