My mother's close friend, an antique dealer down south, has sent a card as a tribute to her. In it he has listed, on 4 sides, every aspect of her character, life, loves and hates, his feelings for her - the love he and his late partner Bill had for her; the length of time they had known her. Then, by each heading is selected classical music that he feels represents her. He has also written a letter to her which he wants me to place in her coffin. Yesterday we received the autopsy result: it appears they have grounds for a "natural causes" decision, based on their finding peritonitis due to a perforated duodenum. They are not taking it further as they think this is sufficient. I still think she had a slight stroke in the evening, but that she maybe just died an hour later, as her system failed to handle what was going on.

Brett, I think these were two very lucky ladies to have slipped away peacefully and not alone. Hang onto that. I have been thinking of you as we both crawl through the same awful quagmire.

We too are at the sorting out stage. Do you feel like a burglar at times? I can find a little humour, especially being faced with the ghastly pair of late Victorian/Edwardian plaster figures that her mother made her promise never to dispose of, and which she made me do the same! I don't even have anywhere to put them! She too is to be cremated, but if possible I will inter her ashes with my father whose grave is in Staffordshire.

Andrea