Not PC, but who cares........
Address to a Bacon Butty, and the Kosher Kibitzers.
By "RABBI" Burns.
(Narrator)
Fair fa' ye honest Bacon Butty,
Nae limpid cheese fae Pizza Hut,
Yer sauce, like blood is oozin 'ut it;
Butter jist the same.
Weel are ye worthy in ma gutty,
When ah'm in pain.
(Rabbi)
My son, our Moses made some rules,
And lumped them all together.
Ten cast in stone with Mason's tools.
And then he made another.
"Eat only meat that's Kosher kil't,
And never cross the brig--
Cow or sheep, if blood's been spilt,
But Oy Vey, don't eat the pig."
(Narrator)
The groaning eyes like pill-box slits,
The toaster jumps, the hammer hits.
The kettle's oan, the mood it fits,
In time of need.
While in the pan, the bacon spits,
For urgent feed.
(Objector)
Yer social glee, ye brother men,
I'll killjoy wi' ma thinkin'.
I'm right, yer wrang, so scrieves ma pen,
'Tis evil blood yer drinkin'.
Ye hunt the fox, ye fish the lure,
My wisdom does deplore it.
I eat no meat and thus am pure.
And fer others, I'll outlaw it.
(Narrator)
Who made the heart, the hefty rumps,
Only he can feel it.
He knows each chop, the fatty chumps,
For better art of skillet.
Think, as ye boil yer dall o' pulse,
While I grill steak o' Llama,
My raw meat may yer gut convulse,
And wheesht yer melodrama.
So -----
Hear me, ye Vegetable Bores,
Whae feign the sicht o' bluid
Even yer cats are carnivores,
Yet ye profess unco guid.
Ye pious, faulted, virtuous quines
Whae counsel ony mongers;
Meat ah'll eat, haud yer bleedin' whines.
Ye'd aye eat, if yer hungered.
See ya, Rob.
sj