Another parrot joke (which your little green friend on your shoulder may not thoroughly appreciate...)

An elderly woman went to the pet shop to buy a talking parrot. She spied a beautiful specimen preening itself on a perch toward the back of the shop and asked the shop owner,

"Young man, does that parrot talk?"

The shop owner looked a bit sheepish and replied,

"Well, lady, yes he does. But to be completely honest with you, I don't know that you'd be happy with him. You see, he was owned by an old sailor who had...well, let's just say he had a filthy mouth."

The woman moved spryly past the slightly blushing shop owner and fixed her stare on the gimlet-eyed bird.

"Hello?" she coaxed.

The bird regarded her coolly for a moment, and then responded,

"Hello, madam!"

Charmed, the elderly woman clapped her hands and whisked the bird home post-haste.

No sooner was the bird ensconced in its new home, than it loosed a string of profanity that turned the air a stunning shade of blue.

Instantly, the woman whipped a black cover over the bird's cage and waited several minutes before raising it again.

This time the bird emitted a barrage of obscenity that bid fair to blister the wallpaper and shatter the good crystal.

In a flash, the woman thrust her hand into the cage, snatched up the fulminating bird and jammed it into the freezer compartment of her refrigerator without a word.

She retrieved the animal about an hour later and placed it back in its cage to thaw. Eventually, the wide-eyed bird regained the power of movement and climbed warily to its perch.

The woman fixed her eye on the parrot's and said,

"Hello?"

The still-shivering bird turned his head slightly, averting his gaze, and replied,

"Hi, lady."

"Pretty Polly?," asked the woman, her eyebrows arched meaningfully.

"Anything you say, lady," replied the abashed bird. "I just got one question...What the %)#*$? did that poor chicken say to you?!?"