Susan-Marie,

I am not one of those who has performed extensively; the same thing happens to me: I get this ungodlyquiver in my voice and my cold, clammy hands shake so much, I'm sure the audience can feel the room vibrate. But, after each performance, I found it t'aint so. Almost without exception, the feedback I got was "Your voice sounded fine" or, "I never would have thought you were that nervous." Some were, I'm sure, being kind; on the other hand, I have sat through many performances by others and---Their voices sounded fine to me and I never would have thought they were nervous! I think we perceive our state far more than our listeners do. And if they are aware...well, I've always found that it really brings out their generousity. I truly think they respect the EFFORT we make. Forgetting chords, words, or entire songs can warm them to you--they sympathize with the plight of the performer. Of course, it's different if you're totally unprepared--a person shouldn't be on the stage (but by request of another performer or someone else--these are usually spur-of-the-moment things). It has been my good fortune to get to know a few professional performers (not very well, but well enough to get to know them better each time I see them), and they all have told me the same thing. 1.) It takes time to build up one's confidence and, 2.) even after years of being out on the road, they still make mistakes. As one told me--if you blow a line, the hell with it--keep on going (and this is a two time Grammy nominee with about 25 years of professional performing under her belt. Of course, another told me that she found sex a good relaxant before a performance, but I replied that it probably worked well enough for women, but we men would have to be awakened to go on stage! Just keep at it (like I will) and we'll make it through just fine. Remember, most of the time, the audience isn't even aware that you've made a mistake. Breathe deep, concentrate on what you're doing, and do te best you know how to do. Of course, it might even help to have a familiar face in the audience--if possible. It always helps me. God bless and good luck.