OK, so what's wrong with this picture? Everybody knows you need Guinea pigs for experiments, but does anybody ask me??!! Nooooo! Serves you blasted hamsters right!

Listen guys, here's a tip. Look through the cage bars! Hadn't thought of that one, eh? That thing that puts the food in your dish that sorta looks like a fat fat bald spider with a few legs missing? One of these days, look waaay up, and you'll see a thing attached to it with eyes and a mouth and all the stuff we have but weirder looking.

I don't know what sort of a sterile environment you scientifical hamsters live in, but those big mostly hairless things sometimes even take us out and play with us. Scared the hell out of me the first time it happened, but the thing hasn't eaten me yet and it knows just where to scratch. (Just try to avoid the smaller hairless things. They'll try to stick stupid little hats on you or paint your fur blue.) In any case, I've been out of that cage plenty of times.

My main point is if you can see it, feel it or pee on it, you don't need to prove it exists!