I can't wait to hear the advice...
We have a fiddle player who leans over my shoulder and "cirlces" measures in the music with her bow if I have so much as one finger slip...even when we're looking over a new piece...(I play piano). I have never criticized her in this way--she becomes irate if I even SUGGEST something was less than perfect--and no one else seems to get the scrutiny I receive!
I know exactly what you mean. You hate to call it quits for the whole band; there are really good things happening, sometimes, but the thought of another rehearsal makes you grit your teeth...
I've tried what you've tried. Any new suggestions, folks? Denise:^)