I've been thinking about this more since I posted previously, even thinking, "What is my role in this? Why does this person always single me out?" (as kendall stated.)

I think a problem in *our* band is:

1--I am probably 10 years younger than our obnoxious fiddler, (she mentions my age a lot; I'm not particularly young, either...)but--

2--I have more experience playing for dances, reenactments, etc., and have more close friends among the local "big name" contra dance music folks.

In other words, it may be something akin to jealousy. The other 2 band members (we are 4!) don't fall under attack, possibly because they are somewhat more submissive, they play whatever tunes she announces without question OR other suggestions... (They are also younger than Mrs. Fiddler, but still older than I am!)

I know that a lot of this thread has been folks responding, "Well, okay, then, LEAVE!", but it really has gotten me thinking. I know I can't tolerate it much longer--we only have 3 upcoming gigs scheduled (other gigs, I've scheduled with other folks--not an established "group," but people who'll agree to a gig or two, here and there), and the dulcimer player and I have agreed that we are just about finished with the group.

It's not so easy to find good musicians who like the same music you do, are willing to put in time to make it good, and have compatible personalities...

Still, I think I may settle for an agreeable person who is willing to practice!

Denise:^)