SharonA:

I think you risk make the mistake of lumping all "professionals" in together. By my reading, those who've said "talk to the professionals" have been referring to professionals in the area of family abuse. Who will know full well about abuse within professional families, and all the problems of the victim getting herself (or, less often, himself) believed.

And I would still advise approaching the non-statutory professionals in the first place. If the local statutory authorities will take a sympathetic and sensitive approach they will inform you accordingly; equally, if the statutory bodies are likely to be heavy-handed then they will tell you.

Also - I don't think anyone here has suggested doing nothing . . were the issue not so serious I might resent one or two of the comments made here!

George