Ok gang, here's my blatant attempt at a trophy. 10 threads (referenced in parentheses), one song. It's pretty corny, but I hope it's enjoyable to all.

"Saving Grunty"

If DEFRA's afraid that Grunty's infected (62)
Send him on over, we Yanks will protect him.
To every disease we're all quite immune
We even brew coffee from Civet poo. (57)

We Yanks aren't afraid of some foot-and-mouth
We'll even wear aluminum foil to sneak him out. (61)
I think we'd need more foil though, to steal a pig
And it would be tough to hide something that big.

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

Maybe that guy who keeps all those ferrets (10)
Could hide Grunty in his pants, then grin and bear it
But he'd need to remove all the ferrets first
An animal fight in your drawers sure does hurt!

Or perhaps Africa would make
For a better hiding place
They spit doo-doo from the kudu (30)
By foot-and-mouth they're not fazed.

Does it look like I'm lying?
Is my nose getting long?
That's just the nasal Viagra (60)
Guess that dose was too strong.

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

We could always stop by the leech ranch (58)
And round us up a few
Take them all to Somerset
Let them suck on Grunty til' they're through
And maybe if we're lucky
The disease will be removed
If it's not, we've wasted sixteen bucks
On a pound of leeches, guess we're screwed.

Too bad we can't fly Grunty first class (44)
For a second opinion some other place
But another pig ended our chances of that
And US Air's still cleaning his waste.
It just doesn't seem fair to me though
How one pig ruined things in the blink of an eye
But now thanks to Vaclav, the Czechs' national hero (29)
Raccoons get free beer and a meal when they fly!

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.

The sanglochon seems much worse (42)
Than dear ol' Grunty and his foot-and-mouth curse
He's never dug up anyone's lawn
Or drunk from their pool, from dusk until dawn
Maybe they're what should first be destroyed
And maybe it's just that DEFRA's mistaken
Could it be Grunty's clean? I'd be overjoyed!
If he is, then I'm sure he'd make some great bacon!

CHORUS
There must be some way to save Grunty
I keep looking through threads,
Scratching my head,
But it seems that the problem has stumped me.