I can't resist! ;-) Here is a snippet from a thread in the newsgroup uk.music.folk. This one had me giggling for hours!

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I'm sure it is a marketing ploy, probably trying (and succeeding) to attract the 'Riverdance' following. Here's my definition:

Celtic Folk is a synthetic form of music which tries to conjur up the myth, mysticism and romance of the Celtic peoples (for the purpose of this definition Celtic refers mainly to Irish and some Scottish...IoM, Wales and Cornwall are distinctly 'unhip')

The music is blander than bland, its main purpose being to sound nice when played as a demo cd in hifi shops.

The music is credited to a group of musicians with unpronouncable names, although in reality the hard work has been done by the sound engineer whose main job was to give the music maximum reverb.

It utilises such typical Celtic instruments as synthesiser, Takamine guitars, Yamaha drum kits, Fender bass, an electric violin and the sound of a bodhran (although the sound engineer will insist this is 'sampled').

There should be at least two females in each band, ideally one with long hair and a flowery skirt the other vaguely punky with a nose ring and Doc Martens.

All members of the band must be able to mime for purposes of the video.

All members of the band must admit that whilst they are satisfied being signed to a huge multi-national like Sony, they were never happier than when they were busking (in Covent Garden)

All love songs should be sung in English (bearing in mind the hit single), whilst mundane subjects such as goats, donkeys or whatever should be sung in 'Celtic' (with a slight American brogue). This is to fool the listener into thinking the subject matter is 'deep and mysterious.

Reels and jigs are allowed but the tempo should be moderate bearing in mind that most purchasers of the albums will be over 40 and therefore potential heart attack victims.

Any reference to England should be to show that the country is populated solely by tyrannical lords, landlords, kings and soldiers. Any hint that there are working class/unemployed people in England is strictly taboo. Likewise 'Celtic' people are all either poets, musicians, authors, lovers, mystics or brave vagabonds.

All cds, cassettes should be full price and never discounted to ensure 'integrity' (ie to fool people into thinking its something special).

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