Found this in my collection last night but I do not have a clue about the author.

I think this is what you are looking for.

MAN WITH THREE BALLS / LIBRARIAN'S LAMENT

A librarian was doing his job at his desk, in an old public library down by the square.
In comes an old woman all heavily laden with all kinds of groceries costly and rare.
"Now, what can I do for to help or assist you?" says I unto her with a nod and a smile.
"Well, it's a book that I'm wanting 'cause I've heard you've the finest selection in many's the mile."

"Well, let me guess now as to what you'll be wanting," says I unto her, "for good reading yourself.
And what would compare with a romantic novel? So, wait and I'll reach you one down off the shelf.
Now here's a fine tale of a handsome brain surgeon whose spirits are low and his mind in a rage,
'Til his troubles are eased by a fair pretty maiden and marries there on the very last page."

"Oh, that's not what I'm wanting at all," says the lady, "and truth for to tell you, the book's not for me,
But it was me husband that sent me to see if you had in this place any pornography."
"If it's pornography that you're wanting," says I, "you've come to the right place as you'll very soon see,
For under the counter I have a fine stock of the dirtiest books in the whole countery.

"'Lady Chatterley's Lover,' 'Last Exit to Brooklyn,' 'The Old Perfumed Garden,' and 'Carnal Desire,'
And every volume is bound with asbestos for fear you have friends that'll set them on fire.
We've got Swedish au pair girls all dressed up in rubber and happy transvestites both gallant and gay,
And all other versions that's known unto man. It's all on the rates and no money to pay."

"Oh, there must be some mistake," says the lady, "for that's not the stuff that I'm looking to see,
For me husband's a pawnbroker, not a sex fiend and I fear it's not this that he's wanting to read.
Well, he heard about pornography from a friend and I fear it's a comical error he made,
For hearing the word and not knowing the meaning, he thought it was something to do with his trade."

The old pawnbroker's wife she was highly amused when with rage I began for to stamp and to swear,
And I picked up the copy of her written complaint and I told her to stuff it the devil knows where.
But out of adversity comes opportunity; so the old profits and sages do say,
And the pawnbroker's tale, well it caused great amusement when told to me colleagues the very next day.

And being well known as a writer of songs that are written on broadsheets and lavatory walls,
I went back to my house and I wrote down this song and I called it "The Tale of the Man with Three Balls."

HTML line breaks added in place of double spacing. Also deleted a lot of HTML that was apparently posted by mistake. --JoeClone, 18-Feb-02.