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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
marymarymary What did you sing as a kid? (70* d) RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid? 16 Oct 01

On NPR a few months ago, they had an interview with a man who had, after extensively surveying the public about what they most liked and disliked about music, "scientifically" composed what were allegedly the world's most and least appealing songs. Oddly, I remember nothing about the "good" song, but (perversely) I *loved* the "bad" song which was some 20 minutes long ("people hate long songs") and included a children's chorus ("95% of people don't like them") and a screechy-voiced opera singer ("most people hate opera") doing a rap song ("76% of people dislike rap music intensely") about Labor Day ("no one sings Labor Day carols") to a bagpipe accompaniment.

Any road, after reading the above messages, it occurred to me that, based on the songs people remember singing as children, someone could write a sure-fire all-time-hit kid's song, if they would only remember to include the following statistically favored elements:
  • Gory death, preferably of a teacher
  • A vague, snicker-y reference to sex
  • Bodily fluids
  • A lady with an alligator purse
  • Worms, snakes, or eels
  • A strong rhyme scheme
  • A baby
  • Disgusting, tainted, or poisoned food
So, if anyone is bored today and wants to write the world's most appealing kids' song today, here's their chance...


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