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The Mudcat Cafesj

User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
Tom French BS: Musicians who have the bad marriage blue (93* d) RE: BS: Musicians who have the bad marriage blue 28 Oct 01

My former wife walked at 45. To a certain degree, she was pissed that I was happy. It was tough on me, but it taught me an important point. Being happy is something you have within you. It doesn't depend on a spouse. Whatever you are you take with you into the next relationship or non-relationship. I overcame much for 23 years, but I learned that you really can't help them with love or anything else that they might need. If they can't find it themselves, no one is going to fulfill them. If you're happy, you really have the strength to do what is best for the family; maybe you'll hit 23 years too. I recall Stan Rogers song "45 Years"; that person made it 23 years too. Used to sing it to try and understand what was happening to me. Since the divorce I have even become good friends with my x for the sake of our two kids and also because I really don't have enough of what it takes to hold a grudge and ruin myself with grudging. I am very happily remarried, but then I never stopped being happy, once I made it through the break-up. My x continues about the same, still looking for happiness. If you have kids, you'll find that they are more important than yourself. I really think both spouses, if they are still sane should knock themselves out to keep the family together; it is worth any amount of effort.

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