Don't understand why you would stay married to someone who isn't interested in you as a woman, when you obviously need someone to be interested in you as a woman. As to being the best of friends, friends don't need to keep secrets from one another. As it stands, you don't know how your husband feels about this, and don't seem to care--you get what you want--You said that you " would probably just end up in another stagnant marriage." There is only one person to blame if that happens, and that is yourself--Why are you married, why did you marry, why even think about marriage, if you are unwilling to make and keep the committments?
I have been around the block a few times, and seen a few like you on the trip--sooner or later, the reckoning comes, and it generally is pretty unpleasant--