Just got this one from my sister,
Four men are showing off what their cats can do. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government worker.
To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, "T'Square, do your stuff." T'Square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff." Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each. Everyone agreed that that was very good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was really good too.
Then the three men turned to the Goverment worker and said, "What can your cat do?"
The Goverment worker called to his cat and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, peed on the paper, sexually assaulted the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.