Alison ...

On behalf of the few remaining Kitteryites, holed up in a arch of Shillington Bridge, to confirm that Brother McKittery is no longer with us. A great loss to the world of songwriting, a greater loss to the world of moderate orangery. But thank God his words are preserved for generations to come, that they may listen and learn from this great man.

But, hark! Alas the enemy is at the door. The Bann is a-fire and the brute forces of Derryaddism which have assailed us so often in the past few days are once again confonting us.

I go now to my own death.

Farewell, and remember

"He's a gulpin and a carn, his mammy never larned him lessons about daycency and class
He's a shite-bag and a coolie, stains his trousers when he poolies, I could spend a fortnight kickin' his oul ass
"