The following new rules (effective immediately) have been instituted at Mudcat, due to the recent wave of anonymous guest posting in threads like the Drumcree and Axis of Evil threads:

1. All posts containing humorous, sarcastic, parodical, and/or satirical passages, or any other post not intended to be taken seriously must be labeled prominently in the header as follows:

a. The Subject header must contain at some point, the string "HA!".

b. The Keywords line shall contain a summary of the hazard levels present in the post, ranked on a scale of 0-4 in the following categories, in the order: humor, sarcasm, satire: 0 -- No hazard

1 -- Slight hazard

2 -- Moderate hazard

3 -- Extreme hazard

4 -- Critical hazard

c. The Summary line shall contain any specific notices of hazard as required under local and state laws.

d. In a satirical or parodical post, a disclaimer should be present in the header to avoid confusion.

2. All humorous, sarcastic, parodical, or satirical remarks within the body of a post must be clearly labeled as follows:

a. Preceded by a clearly-worded warning ten (10) lines in advance.

b. Preceded by a clearly-worded warning one (1) line in advance.

c. Preceded immediately by not less than three (3) smileys of a commonly acceptable variety compliant with Smiley Code paragraph 4, subparagraph b.

d. Followed immediately by not less than three (3) smileys of a commonly acceptable variety compliant with Smiley Code paragraph 4, subparagraph b.

3. Hazards shall be defined as follows:

a. No hazard: Found to contain no more than 1.5 times background contamination levels in no less than two (2) independent tests.

b. Slight hazard: Contamination exists in amounts greater than 1.5 times background levels, yet have been deemed insufficient in no less than two (2) independent tests to be capable of bodily harm during casual exposure.

c. Moderate hazard: Significant risk of bodily harm due to prolonged and/or excessive exposure and/or slight risk of bodily harm due to casual exposure, as determined in no less than two (2) independent tests.

d. Extreme hazard: Significant risk of bodily harm due to casual exposure, as determined in no less than two (2) independent tests.

e. Critical hazard: Significant risk of bodily harm due to ANY exposure not compliant with any and all codes pertaining to the handling of hazardous materials.

4. Those posts containing materials deemed critical hazards must not be handled except by trained personnel in compliance with any and all codes pertaining to the handling of hazardous materials.