COUPLE OF MORE ORIGINAL VERSES.

Originally sung by Harry Champion of Music Hall fame.

The other Easter Monday we all toddled to the zoo,
I smoked away on my cigar and chocked a kangaroo.
And there we saw an animal that caused a lot of chaff
It was called the "Umbaphozalum" so just to have a laugh
With the end of me old cigar, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah
I tickled it beneath the chin and then the wife's mamma
Cried out "It has not got a tail, it does look singular"
So I borrowed a pin and I stuck on the end of me old cigar

I went to good old Southend and as night began to draw.
I thought I'd take a walk down behind the cockle stall.
And there I found a mermaid that's been washed up on the shore
She'd nothing on but seaweed so I took another draw
At the end of me old cigar, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah
She murmured to me gently, "Sir you'll think this most bizarre
But I think that you're the one for me." I murmured to her "Taa".
And I smoked her little fish tail with the end of me old cigar.

Last night I had a dream in which I saw a house on fire.
I thought I'd show my courage that the ladies so admire.
I started up the ladder and the flames began to bite.
And just to show how cool I was I stopped to get a light
For the end of me old cigar, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah, hoorah
Just then the missus startled saying "Wake up won't you Pa!"
"I told you not to smoke in bed, you fool and there you are"
"Now you've burned a hold in me nightdress with the end of your old cigar."