Hello, there everybody. Oul Christy's back in the house. Here's a wee tribute I wrote about that fine broth of a boy who reads the English lottery numbers. It's th'oul smug bingo-caller himself, Eamonn Holmes. It's to the tune of Sam Hall, so feel free to sing along. Here we go now, 2-3-4!

Oh me name is Eamonn Holmes
Big of gut, big of gut
Oh me name is Eamonn Holmes
Big of gut
Oh me name is Eamonn Holmes
A far cry from skin and bones
Here's a place where I'm well-known
Pizza Hut, Pizza Hut
Here's a place where I'm well known
Pizza Hut!

I gain twenty pounds a day
That's not all, that's not all
I gain twenty pounds a day
That's not all
I gain twenty pounds a day
I can eat a quare big tay
You won't ever hear me say
That's enough, that's enough
You won't ever hear me say
That's enough

Oh I phoned a taxi up
Haddock's Cabs, Haddock's Cabs
Oh I phoned a taxi up
Haddock's Cabs
Oh I phoned a taxi up
And we hit the Burger Stop
And I ate the bloody shop
For a bet, for a bet
And I ate the bloody shop
For a bet