I'm from Hoopeston, Illinois (you don't pronounce the s) originally and I loved these. I have detassled corn and worked at corn pack at Stokely Van Camp and Joan of Arc.

Here's my favorites:

"You must be an ILLINOISAN if..."

Ø You've never met any celebrities. Ø Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway. Ø You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular. Ø You measure distance in minutes. Ø Down south to you means Kentucky. Ø You know several people who have hit a deer. Ø You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Plaines". Ø You think Chicago is a completely different state from Illinois. Ø You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?" Ø Your school classes were cancelled because of cold. Ø Your school classes were cancelled because of heat. Ø You know where all the Yoders live. Ø You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. Ø You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." Ø You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July. Ø Stores don't have bags, they have sacks. Ø You see people wear bib overalls at funerals. Ø You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. Ø You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with." Ø All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable. Ø You can locate Illinois on the United States map. Ø Detassling was your first job. Ø You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt". Ø Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice. Ø You DON'T pronounce the "s" in Illinois. Ø You learn your pickup will run without a muffler. Ø You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. Ø You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, pop, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. Ø When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different." Ø You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor. Ø People from other states love to hear you say "Illinois" and other words with "Os" in them. Ø Your dream vacation is a trip to Rock Home Gardens Ø You carry jumper cables in your car. Ø You drink "pop." Ø You know what the numbers I-80, 75 and 57 mean. Ø You know what "cow tipping" is. Ø You know what a grain elevator is. Ø You ever wanted to be a Roller Derby star.