Not sure whether I like this or not: either the verse as a whole or any part of it. But when speaking of famous women, the Farmer's Daughter certainly deserves mention. Our man is bound to have met her once or twice.

And I've written three final couplets, none of which *really* work. But better to get SOMEthing out than nothing at all and take all the crap for not having it.

The Farmer's Daughter's father chased him through the night and mud.
The Spanish don, the French marquis pant for Maloney's blood.
But like the marryin' parson and the Justice of the P(1)
Our hero's never, ever caught; Maloney got away.(2)

But like the scheming maiden and the parson with his book,
Our hero's never, ever caught; Maloney did a hook.(3)

But like the marrying preacher and the cardinal in red,
Our hero's never yet been caught. Better dead than wed.

(1) For those of our non-US readers, the Justice of the Peace is a local magistrate. Among his other duties, he or she is responsible for civil marriages in his or her jurisdiction, especially in small towns.
(2) Pronounce "P" and "away" halfway between "tee" and "pay" to make the rhyme work.
(3) The slang term I've always heard is "to hook off" or "to hook it off" (to escape). I don't know whether "to make a hook" or "to do a hook" are reasonable slang or not.

Now, come on, somebody's got to have a tune for this and can get it on the list. Mrrzy, can you communicate it in sound to someone who can put it in ABC? There's GOTTA be a way!!!

BB,
NightWing