You know, I'm a little sick and tired of everybody and their mother being declared "heros".

I don't buy that a military spouse, who really is no different than a civilian single parent, should be considered heroic. I doubt we should even consider them saints. As to the difficulties of readjusting as a couple after a lengthy separation, I would agree that healthy, well adjusted people don't have that much of a problem with it. Those people aren't prone to murder and violence though, even in trying circumstances. Those who are prone to the violence we are witnessing at Ft Bragg don't fall into that category, though.

I've endured some lengthy (I'm guessing a full year counts as lengthy) separations from my partner, and just haven't had to undergo what seems to the relationship equivalent of the bends upon surfacing as a couple again. To me, the benefits of being back together always outweighed the being apart. Of course, having a relationship where neither partner is invested in control and domination over the other sure helps. Balanced, equitable relationships seems to be the best cure to this sort of violence, IMO. And young people can be educated to view the world that way. The problem with the military is that they aren't interested in that sort of dynamic in relationships--it doesn't fit with the military male dominant, authoritarian, hierarchal model.