My ex and I used to do tag team answering machine messages. He began it all with the invention of the invincible "Captain Testosterone". One day, I happened to call our house when out and got our answering machine. It was my first clue that the message was not the normal boring thing. I could not tell you exactly what it said, but it was basically about Cpt. Testy championing poor hen pecked shlubs everywhere.

And so, I invented "Estrogena and her sidekick, the PMS Avenger" (long before the movie "Mystery Men" was ever made). Estrogena fought with words of power like "Take out the TRAAAAAASH". It was an ongoing serial, and we had to really rush through our scripts, because in that day (early 90's) the message tapes had a certain capacity. We had friends and family calling just to hear what the weeks message would be.

Wish I still had those scripts. They were a hoot.

Then there was the following:

Done with Gypsy Kings playing in the background, and me doing my best Gypsy accent...

"You have reached the home of ______, and the psychic hotline of Madam Violetta. Yes, yes...You want something...I am getting an impression. Yes, you want to...speak to the people in residence. Let me see if I can reach them. Ah, the veil between your world and theirs is not raising. Yes, I can read your mind. You....wish to leave a message. Now, you must practice your own psychic abilities and figure out what to do next..."BEEP".