Amos,
You suggested "Ten-Callous-Touchy-Feely, where just the pads on the fingers touch briefly. " Wasn't that sort of the way Vulcans kissed (or made love) on Star Trek?
The problem with the bone-crushers is usually not so much the amount of pressure as the position. The killer ones are when they squeeze your fingers instead of the meaty part of the hand. People need to learn where to grab, not just how hard.
SWO