The Shite That Got Larry A Stretch
The shite that got Larry a stretch fell out of the back of a doggy
At the scene of the crime it lay fresh, all steamin' and fumin' and soggy
And treading with stealth and with care, yet poor Larry should've avoided
The wee pile of crap that lay there, which lately some mongrel had voided
His owner ignorin' the act
The filth on the sole of his boot proved Larry's doubt beyond question
No alibi could Larry moot, no reason, excuse or suggestion
The judge he peered down his nose, and said "We have caught you red-handed
And brown-footed too I suppose". With a crash his oul' gavel then landed
As Larry, he wept in the dock.
If the owner had scooped up the poop, then Larry would still be a-crimin'
But now the unfortunate dupe from the cell that he's doin' some time in
Is frettin' and makin' up plans to seek his revenge on the barker
He sweats as he wrings his oul' hands and daily his visage grows darker
He's mutterin' into his beard
The night that poor Larry got free, the dogs in the town were in terror
Till at last at a quarter to three, he met up with the source of the error
And oh, the howls and the yelps, and oh the poor doggy's pleading
As he gave the dog's arse such a skelp that the mongrel's oul nose started bleedin'
Says Larry "Rough justice is done".
And now when he's out on his rounds, poor Larry's oul' nose it is twitchin'
He keeps his oul' eyes to the ground, in case some dog's shite is a glitch in
His divilment, malice as well, his burglary, robbin' and thevin'
He'll avoid a sojourn in the cell by skirting all wayward dog's leavings
And the foul-smellin' offerin's of cats
Now … a plug. One in a very occasional series of the same. I hope you bear with me.
I get the occasional PM from people who say they enjoy my postings to Áine's challenge!s. That being the case, you may be interested to know that I have put together a CD of traditional and original tunes and songs (The Humours of Lewisham Volume 2) which is available via my website, Pay The Reckoning. The recordings are demo-quality – so don't expect a great deal of sophistication! (As if, I hear you say …) However they're made with passion, honesty and commitment.
If you think you might be interested, then have a look at Pay The Reckoning's Humours Of Lewisham page. In any event you might enjoy a wander around the site generally (there's a fairly straightforward navigation section on each page). There's a lot of vaguely scabrous and silly stuff scattered about, as well as just as much serious material.
Thanks a lot … and sorry for hijackin' the thread, Áine, a chara!
It's all yours again.