While living in Germany, I made the following errors: While proudly describing what I was making for dinner, I tried to tell my girlfriend's mother that I was preparing a "Gemuse Auflauf" (Vegetable Cassarole). Instead, I told her I was preparing a "Gemuse Einlauf" (Enema)

Same German girlfriend: While trying to impress her & her friends (who had all worked/studied in the UK), I bought a bunch of different Cheddars, Stilton, etc. from an Irish fellow who operated a stand on the square on market days. When explaining where it all came from- instead of telling them it came from an Irishman (Irer) with a stand (Stand) on the market, it came accross that the cheese came from a crazy person (Irrer) with an erection (Stander).