Here's one version - thanks to a friend/KB

I'M SAVING UP COUPONS

The different cigar stores are giving away
Hundreds and thousands of coupons each day
You get good things for nothing and you bet your life
You get things good-for-nothing 'cuz I got a wife.

You can shut up a jack knife, you've all heard it said
I'm sorry that I didn't get one instead
Five million coupons is what my wife cost
I'd give ten million more to get a divorce.

I'm saving up coupons to get one of those
Of coupon-eritis I'll die, I suppose
But a nice little casket the catalog shows
I'm saving up coupons to get one of those.

My brother got married and right off the reel
He started to save for an automobile
And the day that he got it, from smokin' he died
From his house to the graveyard was his only ride.

His wife then got busy, no time did she lose
Till some lucky boob, hopped in poor brother's shoes
And now every evening they both can be seen
As they motor around in poor brother's machine.

I'm saving up coupons to get one of those
When I die, my wife marries and riding she goes
I hope when they're in it the darn thing explodes
I'm saving up coupons to get one of those.

My wife got the habit, she's saving a few
She has sevnteen thousand nine hundred and two
She wants a new hat and I don't know what for
To get it she needs only three thousand more.

We'd been married a year in a nice little flat
And all that we have is a dog and a cat
The lady next door is just chuck full of joy
The stork came and left her a new baby boy.

I'm saving up coupons to get one of those
My wife is now making some cute baby clothes
I don't know who told her but somehow she knows
I'm saving up coupons to get one of those.