Neither a varlet nor a harlot, thank you very much, Amos, nor a Santa dreary, one hopes. Mudlark, thou hast need of patience. Just because Walmart has had their Christmas decorations up for a month doesn't mean your SS is a dud if you haven't received a gift (or hint) yet. Worldwide web means your SS could be anywhere in the world, and it might take a while to get back to cyberspace.

Also, being a first time SS, your SS still learning the etiquette and expectations of this august position.

Since discovering that Mudlark is the person to whom gifts are to be given, your SS has been researching the elusive Mudlark, to better prepare for what's to come. The first part is the reading of all of Mudlark's posts to discover her how better to be her Santa - a labor worthy of Hercules! That woman posts a lot more frequently than her SS. What has been discoverd by this dedicated research? (1)She likes garden fresh cucumbers. Unfortunately, it's not cucumber season in her SS's garden. (2)She would rather sit on her porch and sing cowboy songs than attend a concert by a professional folksinger (an oxymoron if I ever heard one). Sounds reasonable to me. (3)Her real age, which, contrary to her SS hint is at least a decade away from crone-ism (and within 15 years of her SS's age, one way or the other.)

So have no fear; your SS is busy preparing more than coal for your stocking.