Thought this one was a riot...
An American tourist is sightseeing in Scotland and stops into a pub to get a pint. As he sits at the bar, he sees and old man sitting there, muttering angrily to himself.
Suddenly, the old man looks at the tourist and says to him: "Ye see that stone fence out there."
The tourist replies: "Why, yes, that's a might long stone fence"
"Well" says the old one, "I built it myself, dug up the stones, and laid it out, stone by stone for a mile. And do they call me McGregor the Fence builder! Hell No!"
Taken aback by the oldtimers passionate reply,, the American say "Sorry to hear that."
"And do ye see that big barn across the field" says the old one.
"Mighty big barn" say the American.
"Aye, and I cut down the trees, planed the wood, and built it, plank by plank. And do they call me McGregor the Barn Builder! Hell No!"
"Sorry to hear that." again replies the American.
Then McGregor says "But you have sex with one sheep..."
No offence to any sheep is meant :).