BUSH TWINS DEMAND REGIME CHANGE AT T.G.I. FRIDAY'S

Seek Support From Other Twins, Drunks

First Twins Barbara and Jenna Bush today called for a "regime change" at the T.G.I. Friday's in Austin, Texas, citing the current regime's insistence on what they termed "an inhumanely early closing time."

"We have warned T.G.I. Friday's not to close at 2 A.M. again and again and again," Jenna Bush told an anti-Friday's rally in Austin, where the twins are attempting to rally other twins, drunks, and twin drunks.

Barbara Bush added that the bartenders at Friday's had failed to comply with her demands to double the amount of Kahlua used in its White Russian recipe.

"Despite our many requests to let us go behind the bar and fix these drinks ourselves, we have been rebuffed," Barbara Bush said.

Even as they tried to build support for their cause, the hard-partying pair left little doubt that when it comes to regime change at Friday's, they are fully prepared to "go it alone."

"Rack up a line of tequila shooters, give us a couple of baseball bats, and we're going in," said Jenna Bush. "If I may quote the Fantastic Four's 'The Thing,' 'It's clobberin' time.'"

In other Bush family news, President George W. Bush, who served as a Yale football cheerleader during the Vietnam War, announced today that several other prominent retired Yale cheerleaders now support military action in Iraq.

The retired Yale cheerleaders, armed with blue-and-white Yale megaphones, appeared on Capitol Hill today and attempted to drown out a group of retired Army generals who had been urging caution.