What about "I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling" (apparently the title of an ACTUAL country song) - I got this from the website below. If you feeling like you want to commit suicide (as I do regularly when the computer hangs up - sorry that should read "murderous") then the following may just persuade you that life is worth living (or not!. My personal favourites are asterisked.

Actual Country Music Song Titles...

From http://humournow.tripod.com/ad/actualcountry.html

"Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed"
"Get Your Tongue Otta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye"
* "Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure"
"How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?"
"I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?"
* "I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling"
* "I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2"
"I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except For Mine"
* "I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run So I igure We Got An Even Deal"
"I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You"
"I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well"
* "I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better"
* "I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win"
"I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite"
* "I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here"
"I've Got Tears in My Ears From Lying On My Back While I Cry Over You"
* "If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You"
* "If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now"
"Mama Get A Hammer, (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)"
"My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, and I Sure Do Miss Him"
"Please Bypass this Heart"
* "She Got the Ring and I Got the Finger"
* "She Got the Goldmine and I Got the Shaft"
"You Done Tore Out My Heart and Stomped that Sucker Flat"
* "You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly"