I'm trying to start a little business with my kids, selling Misfortune cookies, to work through the process of it with them. The idea began with a halloween party my part-time wife had, and we've kept writing them.

Now I need to pick a few of the funniest to order samples to take around. Help.

These are some of my favorites, beginning with my daughter's, which started it all.

1. A guy who eats cream corn with his mouth open will have a crush on you.
2. You'll never find the right haircut.

3. Your fortune is very important to us. Please hold.

4. Fortune truly helps those who are of good judgement, dude.

5. You'll laugh so hard milk comes out your nose, when you aren't drinking milk.

6. Your job will be a joke, you will be broke, your love-life will be DOA, and you'll have that damn "Friends" song stuck in your head.

7. Nice to have the best sex of your life out of the way already.

8. You'll live a long happy life, so it won't seem to Elton John you were like a candle in the wind.

9. Coleman, Sinise, Bussey, Oldman--you become obsessed with a theory that actors named Gary are kinda weird.

10. Your business venture suceeds, Bill Gates.

11. Your music career will be destroyed by what the deaf call "those stupid hearing people."

12. In being kind to others, you will receive kindness back, I guess.

13. Never under-estimate projectile properties of coleslaw.

14. You find lasting love (batteries not included).

15. There are lessons to be learned by listening to others, blockhead.

16. Opportunity knocks for you, waits, then keys your car and leaves.

17. You restore El Caminos in your retirement.

18. The longest journey begins with getting off the couch.

19. You'll wish you'd had those nude photos done professionally when you were younger.

20. Beware a bagel-related injury.


Any of those? votes on the best, anyone?