Second Verse (still haven’t cracked the carriage return business) I have heard the burglar verse, but cannot remember it.

Timothy went to Blackpool for a week last Eastertide,
To see what he could see at the side of the sea.
Soon as he left the station there, the first thing he espied,
Was the wine lodge doors open invitingly.
To quench his thirst, he toddled inside and called out for a wine,
Which grew to eight or nine,
Till his nose began to shine.
Said he, “What people see in the sea, I'm sure I fail to see,”
So he caught the train back home again, and to his wife said he—