gnu:
Definitely, Hospice. I worked in acute care hospitals for nigh on to thirty years before changing professions, and I witnessed the evolution of "end-of-life care" into the nineties. Its still evolving, and it has a long, long way to go before reaching the goal of allowing us to pass with comfort and dignity and without fear. But, that said, hospice generally represents the best that is available by way of support and rational care planning.

As for the docs, some are OK, a few are really good, but many still think of death as an "enemy" that it is possible to defeat. Aside from Dorain Gray, I can't think of anyone who has ever beaten the Grim Reaper. Pain control is a difficult concept to master, and I would urge your pal to make aboslutely certain to his MD exactly what his wishes on this score are. If the doc says it can't be controlled, find another doc. I cannot recall how many times I heard MDs worry about giving too much pain control medication for fear that the patient might "become addicted." So he's addicted . . . . so what??!! With only a short prognosis, how much of a habit can he develop? Surely not so much as to have him run out and knock over a liquor store to feed the monkey.

From your position, give him support, but let him tell you how much. The need varies with the patient and most will let you know if you're getting too intense.