AOL recently began blocking any SMTP server that it deems either an "open relay" or is blacklisted. If you are running your own server, that is your problem. Among other things, if they can't do a successful reverse lookup on you, they will consider you unauthorized. I don't think you will be able to resolve this long term. Blocking questionable servers is becoming more common now, as ISPs try to eliminate SPAM - most of it comes from just such servers. I had to give up using my "home" server (which was convenient because it worked from everywhere regardless of how I was connected), and now use my company server for all my mail. I didn't like to do that because it isn't physically local (more like 2000 miles away). My cable ISPs have unstable SMTP servers, so I can't dependably use them (why customers put up with that is another question - outages of 30 minutes or more repeatedly throughout the month).
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