Dear King Khandu,

Greetings from The United States Justice Department. Our President sends his regards as well.

To get right to the point, King, we here at Justice need your help with a little problem. We have been pursuing an ongoing investigation into a string of incidents of vandalism of United States Government property. Specifically, someone has been writing grafiti on the walls of the men's restroom in the Amtrak rail station in Atmore, Alabama. In an attempt to unearth the perpetrator of this vandalism, we have transcribed the grafiti and instructed our new top secret metasearch engine to look for the presence of any similar data strings on websites throughout the WWW. Well, Sire, we scored a bullseye and it has led us directly to this thread.

We are quite confident that you have seen the following posts:

Please click here, and here, and here.

These messages, posted by one styling himself "Bee-dubya-ell", are word for word verbatim transcriptions of grafiti written in blue Sharpie pen on the men's room wall of the Atmore, Alabama Amtrak station.

Sire, it is our understanding that you have been duped into adopting this "Bee-dubya-ell" person as "Royal Poet Lariat of Mississippi". We feel that it would be in the best interest of the Kingdom of Mississippi if you were to turn this miscreant over to our agents as soon as possible. Of course, there is no extradition treaty between our two countries, but bear in mind that there are also no extradition treaties between the U.S. and Afghanistan or Iraq. We don't worry about that much anymore, do we?

Sincerely,

Donald Rumsfeld
Attorney General
United States of America