Hello Mudcat peepel,
My name is Sheeney Knause, pronownsed "Sheen-ey Ka-nawse". Dont kenfuse me wif Shiney Knause, Ah iz not him, Ah iz Sheeney. Ah donut like Shiney Knause.

Ah hab ben lerkin here fer a few daze. Ah fill like Ah knoe yew all reely gudd.

But sum uv yew ar hard to udderstaind, yew talk so funney. Now, Ah udderstain Tweeb. He maiks cents to me. Is the ress uv yew farerners ar sumpin?

Hears whut Ah hab cum to udderstain about all uv yew.
Amus dont talk like nun uv yew, he must be frum summerselse. He prolly hab a gudd haid on his sholder but hit dont make noe difrunce how smart he is ifn he dont make noe cents.

bee duyell uset to talk funy but then he gotto talkin rite, Ah udderstain him almoss as gudd as tweeb.

King Kandyass must not be frum enywhur Ah ever heered uv caws he is not ferzakerly rapped too-tite an his dough dint git all the way dun.

Spaw? Not thet is a stranjun! Is he whut yew call hughmen? He is sorda like Kingkantankerous, his elervader dont go all the way up

Carol Crapper the Saller C gurl, whut kinda name iz thet? She gotsta be one uv them farerners to, and she drives them Honder Accordeons?

Rusty Rebel iz alot like me, old and rusty but crusty. Ah thank Ah like her. Iz she maired?

Thairs jest to minny uv yew to talk about, but Ah iz hairpie thet Ah fount this tread I have lernt alot and this tread makes alot uv sense to me, but thet mey be jist caws Ah is one of the smart Knauses

Yer Feind, Sheeney