I am the living embodiment of the world's most feared greeting.
I am a lawyer.
I work for the government.
And I'm here to help you.
Seriously, I really am a lawyer, but I work for a tiny state agency that keeps nursing homes from beating up on the old folks. We have staff who travel far and wide across fair Wisconsin, poking into the homes and talking with the residents to find out what's happening and who has problems. We then try to help solve those problems. My job is to provide backup legal support for the field staff when they run into a problem interpreting or applying one or more of the regulations.
In a prior life, I was a respiratory therapist working in hospitals.
For fun, I travel with my lovely wife, manage a domestic menagerie (2 dogs, 4 cats, and a ferret), and play an old autoharp and vocalize (I hesitate to use the word "sing").