Dunroamin' Blues
With apologies to Hank Williams

I got me a mortgage, a chain around my feet
And I twitch my curtains when you're walking down my street
And my kids give me worries, lawd my kids they give me grief

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues

I got a two-quart paunch and my hair is growing thin
Got a burglar alarm in case someone wants to break in
And I know I've got to bear it, but I'm buggered if I'll grin

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues

I went down to the river to catch myself a pike
For a break from my worries, some respite from my strife
Caught a shopping trolley and a rusty racing bike

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues

I'm swinging to the right every time it comes to vote
The kids call me Hitler, the wife calls me Pol Pot
I read the Daily Mail, so no wonder I'm losing the plot

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues

I used to be dashing, single, free and young
I used to be handsome, carefree and well-hung
But now I'm just a joke, a wretched figure of fun

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues

Got a mid-life crisis and my ulcer gripes and throbs
I hate my kids and I hate my deadbeat job
Sometimes in the evening lock myself in the toilet and sob

I got those du-uh-un ro-oh-oamin'
I got those du-uh-un roamin' suburban blues