Can the entry be one you heard from a Mudcatter? I hope I remember this correctly:

"All things being equal, you could say that Fred Dooley was having the worst day of his life. At least that's what the folks speeding by on the rural route 'tsk-tskd' to themselves as they drove by Fred, his tractor idling in the hayfield as he straddled the irrigation ditch and threw up what appeared to be biscuits and a skillet full of red-eye gravy.

Fren was gone. Town being what it was, everyone knew only shortly after Fred did. She drove off in her little truck, with the "Save a horse-Ride a cowboy" sticker in the window, and her AquaNet and Harlequin novel in the jockey-box right next to the lucky shaker she used to salt the beer she bought at the drive-thru liquor barn. Fred thought about that and shrugged his shoulders against a set of dry heaves that registered at least a 7.9.

He'd gotten an early atart that morning to try and escape memories of Fern. She'd always cooked his breakfast in the pre-dawn hours, listening to Hank Nelson reading the farm report on the radio. Fred knew Fern had a thing for Hank--just the sound of his voice on the radio was enough to make Fern shimmy out of her bathrobe and lay Fred on the table. Many's the breakfast that went uneaten to the tune of:
"Hogs is up" (oooooooh!)
"Cows is down" (mmmmmmm!)
"An' chickens is just fine like they is." (oh YESSSSSSS!)

But Fred never thought Fern would actually pack up and go off to the big city to find Hank. Fred'd woken up at the usual time, but after looking at his kitchen, decided to skip both breakfast and the farm report in order to get an early start on the day.

The thing those early morning passers-by never knew was that Fred wasn't losing his cookies over Fern, that feeling had passed with the sight of her tail-lights hitting the freeway. Oh no. Fred had simply discovered the reasoning behind the old addage: "Make hay while the sun shines"--for in those few tractoring minutes before dawn, Fred had accidentally baled a skunk.