A wonderful song that would surely go down well in England is "Paddy, the Cockney, and the Ass." It's no doubt music hall vintage (so not absolutely ancient), but I learnt it from the late Tom Lenihan of West Clare, and you can't imagine a more unimpeachable source for traditional singing. Here are the words:

Pat Molloy was an Irish boy, he came from County Clare
He thought he'd go to London to see the sights were there
"I've always heard that London is a very pretty place,
And so" says he "I'll go and see if that be the case."
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

When Paddy got to London he was taken by surprise
The sights of that great city fairly dazzled Paddy's eyes.
One day as he's going down the street meditating to himself
He met with a ragged Cockney and a donkey -- selling delft.
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

Now this damned oul' ragged Cockney would not let poor Paddy pass.
He says, "speak to your brother," and he pointed to the ass.
"I thought, me man" says Paddy "that I had no brother here!"
And, bending down, he whispered something in the ass's ear.
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

As Pat was speaking to the ass, now boys, what did he do?
He slipped a pebble in his ear! He did! Begod, tis true!
The ass went mad, upset the cart, broke all the earthenware,
And the damned oul' ragged Cockney, he went crazy clear and clean.
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

He shouted for the peelers to take poor Pat in charge,
Saying "seize this Irish vagabond! He should not be at large!"
"Begone, you English spalpeen," said Paddy with a smile,
"You took me for an ass because I came from Erin's isle!"
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

"That's nonsense," cried the magistrate, "you know the ass went mad."
"I do, indeed," said Paddy, "and I'm sorry too, bedad."
"Be careful," cried the magistrate, "I want no nonsense here;
But come and tell me every word you whispered in his ear."
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

"Oh, that I'll do," says Paddy, "your request I'll not refuse.
You always heard that donkeys were very fond of news?
I thought I'd say a word or two the donkey's heart to cheer,
And now I'll tell you every word I whispered in his ear.
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

"They say that now in Ireland we have our wrongs redressed,
Our noble-hearted Irish men no longer are oppressed.
We've got rid of all the landlords, Ireland to ourselves we have;
And when the donkey heard the news, by Heavens, he went mad!"
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

The magistrate from laughing he had to creep his head
When he looked at poor old Paddy and thought of what he said.
And turning round to Paddy saying, "A clever rogue you are,
And for your clever answer I'll dismiss you from the bar."
Radley fol-the-diddle-eye-doe, rights fol-the-day.

Mind you, I know of one adjudicator at the All Ireland in 2001 who marked this song down because of its music hall origins -- what he called "Paddy whackery" -- but what's good enough for Tom Lenihan ought to have been good enough for him, IMHO. (But then, I probably feel this way at least partly because I was the singer who was marked down.)

A word or two about style: if you're going in for Fleadh competitions, try not to be too theatrical. There was an English singer at the All Ireland that same Fleadh, she had a lovely voice, but her song also was a music hall number which she unfortunately exaggerated by indulging in a certain amount of stage business. This isn't something Comhaltas approves of -- if you care what Comhaltas approves of.

Good luck!

Virginia