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User Name Thread Name Subject Posted
GUEST,Ely (at Mom's) musicians with Asperger's Syndrome (110* d) RE: musicians with Asperger's Syndrome 11 Jun 03

Sorry, but [refresh]

I missed this thread while my computer was down but since somebody else brought up ADD . . .

I have Asperger's (my father has Asperger's, his mother probably had it, and her father almost certainly had it); I was diagnosed when I was 23. As a kid, I always maxed out on intelligence and skills tests but struggled in school. My school system agreed that I had problems but couldn't help because their bylaws did not allow "help" unless I was formally diagnosed. However, if I had been diagnosed, the only "help" available was to put me in remedial classes. I am not developmentally disabled--I did not need remedial classes. The fact that lots of Asperger's kids are smart almost makes it worse--how can we be so smart and so DUMB at the same time?

I suppose I would not be who I am if I didn't have AS--as has been pointed out, it's not a mental condition, so my personality doesn't exist separately from my "disorder", but it has made life hard. I managed to graduate from college but my academic record was spotty. I'm a hard worker but part of succeeding in the job market involves interpersonal skills and "competitive spirit", and these are foreign to me. I'm hopelessly single; it's hard to make yourself appealing when you don't know how to project your personality.

I cannot possibly imagine myself as a professional musician. I have no confidence in my ability to interact with an audience and I can't bear the thought of dealing with the politics and business details.

I've learned to compensate a lot, but I don't know if I'll ever catch up. Meanwhile, AS limits my access to higher education, a decent living, and companionship. I'm not on medication and I don't agree with medicating every undisciplined, out-of-control child for the sake of convenience, but AS is a much bigger problem for me than just "nerdiness".

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